My Highly Sensitive Child

I have one of those. I actually almost have two of those but one fits all of the requirements. It started EARLY in life! So early that I remember vividly going to the outlet in Smithfield when she was about 2 and a half and after nearly all day, we had gone to every store there and at the LAST store (Tommy Hilfiger - no less) she found 1 pair of pants she could/would wear. I called Ryan on the phone and he told me he didn't care how much they cost, to get every color they had. She wore three pair of pants that year - a red pair, a pink pair and a black pair - all velour with satin lining inside. I knew then that this was more than a control issue. I immediately searched on line for extreme sensitivities and sure enough, I found a book (which is yellow and dog-eared from years of referencing) "The Highly Sensitive Child" by Elaine Aron. When answering the questionnaire at the beginning of the book, I had to answer yes to 18 of the 23 "diagnostic" questions. The questions I was able to answer no to were about being quiet and shy, definitely no problem there! Anyway, after years and years of compromise, I am happy to say that she will now fix her hair, wear tennis shoes with socks (still not any old pair of socks, but still socks), wear jeans, try most texture of foods, etc. However, emotionally she is still EXTREMELY sensitive. It is one of her most endearing qualities, yet as her mother, I see the toll it takes on her. There is a young man missing from our community tonight. He went out for a jog this morning and didn't return home. There were people gathering to help look for him. While we don't know him personally, he plays on the same football organization my boy's do. Anyway, he was a strong, young 16 year old boy out for a run in daylight and didn't come home. That messes with every sense of security my girl has set up for herself. It challenges her sense of security, her sense of justice, her sense of well-being. At the same time, we have dear friends that are having trouble with safely in their living situation. Another girl on the internet that was reportedly taken from her room in the middle of the night. Another dear family on the brink of divorce. My girl sees corruption and selfishness and "badness" (as she calls it) ruling the world. Tonight as I was holding her as she was praying / sobbing her heart out, she confessed that sometimes she just gets so sick of this world, that she just cannot wait to die (please hear me that she is NOT suicidal). Her little heart breaks over how much sin is in the world, how much our sinful actions must hurt Christ. It reminds me of the song "Hosanna" by Hillsong that says: Break my heart from what breaks yours Everything I am for your kingdoms cause As I go from nothing to Eternity Her hurt breaks for what breaks His. In all her sensitivity issues God has given her the gift of Empathy. How she uses it for His glory and how He develops her many gifts still remains to be seen. Yet, I know there is definitely work in progress. I am thankful that I listened to my small inner mama voice and knew her sensitivity issues were not the norm. I am thankful that I had the wisdom to guide and correct in a way that allowed her to feel safe and free to be herself yet still make progress (in wearing hair bows, shoes, socks, jeans, etc.) Tonight, after a while, she got her emotions back under control and one brother came and offered a box of tissues, the other brother came and offered to switch beds so that she could sleep in his in order to stay in the room with them tonight if she wanted. That's what love looks like. Even though they don't react or sorrow at her same level, they want to reach out and comfort her, soothe her, protect her. Tomorrow she will still be sad and she will still be anxious until an end is resolved and she will continue to pray and pour out her heart to Him. And I am perfectly okay with that.