Friday, August 22, 2014

How'd I get here?

I'm a homeschooling mama. I have been for the past 16 years. No matter how you look at it, homeschooling is part of my job description, part of what makes me me, engrained in our family. A couple of weeks ago, I attended my homeschool support group's annual "Informational" meeting. I'm not new to homeschooling, I don't need much information but I love this meeting. It is my favorite throughout the whole year. Until recently, I couldn't tell you why it's my favorite. This year, I was torn all day "should I go, should I stay home". At the last minute, I decided to go. During the meeting, which was full of people I had never seen before, came the tell-tale part where everyone had to stand up. With each statement a group of people sat down. At the end, it was the people who had homeschooled at least 15 years and had graduated at least one student that were left standing. There were just a handful of us. As I looked around the room, I thought "oh, there are my friends, there are the people I know, there are the people I have been living life with the past 16 years." A friend that was beside me leaned over and asked "how did we get here". My first, initial response was "I have no idea." As I mulled over it some, my answer changed. I got here one hour, one day, one week, one month, one year, one prayer at a time. Suddenly, I saw my twenty something self in the eager parents sitting around me. The ones that were ready to take the challenge of educating their children by the horns, eager to spend 24/7 with their children, eager to take on the role of both parent and teacher. I tell people all the time (anyone who will listen) homeschooling is not a race, it is a marathon. In a race, you have your sights set on the end, you go as fast as you can, keeping your eyes always on the prize. In a marathon, you have to pace yourself, you have to be diligent in perseverance, you have to keep running even though you don't remember why you even started, even though you get tired, even though you sometimes really wanted to quit. Then, suddenly, the end approaches and you think, "wow, that wasn't too bad". (I don't really know, I've never run a race or marathon but that's how my imagination plays it out.) Suddenly, you're not in a race anymore but standing in a room of 60+ people thinking "don't look I me, I have no idea what I'm doing!" But I do, I just tell myself I don't. I envy those that as soon as their little ones are born they look into their sweet baby faces and say "oh, I know I will homeschool you everyday of you life and never dream about how green the grass is on the other side of that school bus" That was SO not me, it still isn't me. In fact, when I first began homeschooling those 16 years ago, our friends were afraid we had joined an occult or I had been brain washed. One sweet, sweet friend, a mentor from my teaching days commented early on in our homeschooling adventure "what will you do when she reaches middle school, your degree is only K-6?" After a pause, my response was "I guess pray for the rapture." Four of my five children are either past middle school or currently in middle school and we've survived. Dare I say thrived. Every year, I have to re-evaluate. Every year I have to pray, heavily. Every.single.year. 16 years and counting. So, how did I get here? Only by the grace of God. I'm so very thankful. Now, looking back with one graduate, one senior, and three more to go, I realize that marathon is so, so fast. A lifetime is not nearly long enough. Now, if I can only remind myself of that tomorrow when everyone is awake and whining/complaining about how much school they have to do!

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