Against the flow

I think I should have been born a salmon. Truth be told, I have never been a very good "go with the flow" kind of girl. There have been various times in my life when I have tried, tried and tried harder. However, as I have gotten older, I have discovered that questioning things is my natural bent. Last week I had to take Owen to the doctor for a check up. This is the doctor Owen has been seeing for 10 years. When we got there, the lady spoke over me and handed Owen a 5 page form to fill out and said "Only you" fill out this form. Okay, that was a little odd. Then, we get to the doctor's office waiting room and she tells me I can wait in the hall during the appointment. Uh, excuse me? "Well, (she says - placing her hand on my arm)that is how we do it when they turn 12. They may have "private" matters they would like to discuss with "their" doctor that they wouldn't feel comfortable with a parent in the room." Yeah, right. That lady didn't know who she was talking to - my fight or flight response kicked in overtime! Let's just say I am sure I have a really big, really long note in my folder. It was so bad I think we are going to have to change doctors. You know, the crazy thing is, that doctor had the gall to praise my efforts. He went on and on about how flexible, how well spoken, how polite, what healthy habits he had but in the same breath tell me that I needed to "do it like everybody else." On the way home, it hit me like a ton of bricks - you CAN'T have it both ways. As a homeschooler, I realize I am already outside of the "norm". I don't look for ways to not fit in, really I don't. However, sometimes over somethings I just don't. I thought of this verse out of Philippians "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life - in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing." I (We) will never reach that goal of doing everything without complaining or arguing and I (we) will never be blameless and pure or without fault. However, it is my goal to help give my kids the tools they need to shine like stars in the universe as they hold out the word of life; whether I get nasty notes in my folder or not. I do want to be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.