Big Hearts

I am going to take a minute and brag on my children. It constantly amazes me at how great they are. Now, let's face facts, they are sinful children raised by sinful parents, I get that. However, I love that they love to give. Once they invest in a person, they are loyal, they are caring, they are giving, they are prayerful. I have seen it time and time again. Way back before Alexa was born, we had a baby come and stay a long weekend with us. Owen prayed for that baby for years! My sister came to live with us a while, the kids loved having her here - even if it was due to tough circumstances. Henry came to live with us, even though it was very, very hard, my kids love him. I knew this but didn't really realize how much until we got to talk to him. He called on Thanksgiving and each child got to talk to him. All of them were excited and loved catching up with him. I watched my kids take in a boy for the weekend and again, he has been in every prayer we've prayed. Several times one of the kids have said they missed him. One tonight questioned if I thought he would really call us if he needed us. I am amazed at how willing they are to love and to help and to care. Genuinely. I love that they spend as much time looking through and circling items in the World Vision catalog just as much as they do the Target wish book. I love that they would love to each have a child to sponsor. I love that they care for others. I love that they pray for our baby and wish that tomorrow we could go get him/her and bring them here. I was telling all of this to a friend over the weekend and she gave me this crazy look and said "I don't really see why you should be all that suprised. I would be surprised if they acted any differently." Yet, I am still surprised and grateful. I am grateful for their hearts. I am grateful to be their mother. I am grateful for God's provision and protection. It is a character trait that I pray each of them keep as they continue to grow into adulthood and beyond.

Happy Thanksgiving

So, I have arrived. This is my first Thanksgiving,ever, to have to get up at the crack of dawn to put a turkey in the oven. I would like to say it was a beautiful experience, one that I will fight for in years to come. However, that was not exactly the case. Raw meat is not something my eyes, nose and hands can handle very well. I can definitely see why handling it makes some turn to a vegetarian life style. Anyway, my dear knight (who was already up in order to go in search of my After-Thanksgiving sales ads) so lovingly helped me stuff it into the bag and into the oven. With that chore accomplished, I was able to just sit in the quiet and observe the morning. I can see why some are such advocates of the early morning stillness. It was beautifully breath-taking as the sun was just peeking above the trees. I was reminded of an overwhelming sense of thankfulness. Thankful that I have parents who have always loved and supported me, thankful that I have never experienced true hunger, thankful that I have a Savior that loves me despite my many flaws and failures, thankful that I have a wonderful husband, thankful that I have beautiful, healthy, intelligent children who are growing in the Lord, thankful that I have the privilege to homeschool those children, thankful for the opportunities we have in America, thankful for my beautiful home and the comfort and safety it provides. Just so thankful that if feels as though my heart could burst. Yet, at the same time there is such a longing and burden. A longing for the sweet, young man that sat at my dinner table last night and got choked up that it was his first family meal in 4 months, a longing at the realization that if he were to die tonight - he would be forever separated from Christ, a longing for my baby on another continent - what are he/she doing today; are they born, is there anyone there hugging and kissing them and singing quiet lullabies, feeding them, loving them. A longing for all the other children that may never know what it like to have that forever family. It is crazy how in one moment there can be such a rush of thankfulness and fullness and then such a strong current of burdens and sadness. At the same time as having these whirlwind of thoughts, my quiet morning was interrupted by my knight screaming at the dog for pooping on the floor. I am silently screaming and waving my arms begging him to not wake the kids. Then, I realize it is because we live in a fallen world that we have such a span of emotions. We are blessed and comfortable but we are called to be burdened, the things we are burdened over are the things we are called to strive to change. We are called to be set apart. Sometimes, that being set apart, sets us up for ridicule and isolation, sometimes it makes people think we are crazy, and sometimes that being set apart gives us that quiet, gentle prodding of a whisper of the 'well done' I so long to hear. Happy Thanksgiving!

What were they thinking?

Last Friday night everybody had a crazy schedule. Emily was at AnchorSoul, Alexa had a sleepover birthday party, Owen had a Halloween party at the gym. It was just Ryan, Ian and myself. Sort of at the last minute we decided to let Ian invite a friend and we would go out in Raleigh while we waited for Owen. Owen needed to be picked up at 10:00. We decided we would like to go bowling. Bowling is an activity we love to do together as a family but due to budget constraints and the rise of bowling costs, we haven't gone as much in the past couple of years. Anyway, we go to the bowling alley and we all play the first game. The second game I decided to sit out in case we didn't get done in time so that I could go pick up Owen. As I was sitting there, I noticed the family in the lanes beside us. You could tell they were "official" bowlers. There was a mom on one lane, then a dad (in his airbrushed 'I love bowling' t-shirt on one lane and then, what I assume to be their teen aged son in the next lane. The thing I noticed right off was that both the dad and son had their ipod earbuds in. I thought that seemed sort of odd that you would go bowling as a family with earphones. Then, I noticed the shrill, high-pitch nastiness coming out of the mother's mouth. She was screaming at them (the son in particular) over how they were doing things. I looked up at the score board expecting to see her score WAY above the others. However, that was not the case. I thought, that woman is missing the point. She is missing that young man's heart. I am not sure if I felt worse for the young man or the mother. It did cause me to stop and wonder about how many times my kids wished they could just put on their earphones and tune me out. Now, I don't scream obscenities at them - ever. But how often I am just barking words at them rather than tending to and reaching their hearts. We all want the best for our kids and want them to be/do their best. However, as my kids get older and older, I would pick being the best in character, integrity and honesty EVERY time over anything else.