My new Hero

This afternoon I was making my weekly trip to Sam's Club. I had finished my shopping. As I am walking out of the store to my van, this man comes up to me (he looked like a normal man). I thought he was going to ask the time. He had a beach umbrella and something else that apparently he needed to return. Anyway, he came extremely close and says "Girl, you looking fine - you married?" Ummm, excuse me? As I stuttered and stammered that yes, in fact, I was married. He stands there looking at me and I rush off. Anyway, thankfully, I was parked beside a large air conditioning repair vehicle. I hear someone calling "Hot lady" , "Hot lady". I peer around the van to see the man walking through cars looking, apparently, for me. The hatch is broken on the back of my van, so it is very difficult to load groceries into the back, forget doing it quickly or inconspicuously. I am already thinking through my assault pattern if he approached me again. You would see me on the 6 o'clock news assaulting a man with his own beach umbrella. The man was getting closer, still calling out, when a UPS guy came down by the car. I call him over, explain my dilemma. So, he graciously stood there and held open my hatch while looking out for the crazy man. Eventually, he gave up and went into the store. I apologized to the man for stopping him. The crazy thing is, he looked more "scary" than the man that approached me, yet he brought me great comfort. After I got into my car and the UPS man took my cart, I wondered if I should have gone into Sam's to report him or something. He hadn't actually done anything, just made me extremely uncomfortable and I am not generally spooked. If he really wasn't crazy, I wonder if he gets many positive responses from that type of tactic. And if he does, what does what type of person could/would respond favorably. How on earth could that be viewed as flattery? I also couldn't get over how boldatious he was. It was 8:00, still very much daylight, in a semi-crowded parking lot. I have come to the conclusion that creepy, stalkerish men creep me out! Ryan said I could do a new commercail for UPS: "What can brown do for you!"

Melancholy

I am feeling a bit melancholy today. I am a slave to my checklist. It is nearly the end of summer and none of the "important" things have been checked off my list. In years past, summer has been an incredibly productive time for me. I don't know what has happened the past two summers. I had a large list of things I wanted to "catch up" on for school, some home repairs/rearranging, and some painting projects that needed my attention. Not to mention some serious deep cleaning. During the summer I usually take down and wash all of my curtains, blinds, windows, and artifical plants. So far, I have only done about half. On days like today, I regret putting in all of these windows! However, the largest untouchable on my list has been school. I am stuck. We didn't quite finsh up, wrap up, put away at the end of the year as we normally do. We had an extreme schedule for May/June. Normally a busy time, we added prom, graduation and an extreme testing schedule that lasted until the end of June. All of that left me just pooped. Slowly, I have been cleaning off Emily's shelves. I took down the table in the school room because she was the only one who used it. I am having a hard time figuring out what I want school to look like. I have one who will be beginning 9th grade. Then, I have two that will be 4th & 5th. The span seems increasingly huge. I feel more confident coming into high school this time than I did first time around. But still uncertain with so many details. I know that I am not supposed to have all the answers. I just like it better when I do. :) I have decided that either I am an extreme procrastinator (yes, I know I am) or I really do prefer to just cram at the last minute. I know that at the 11th hour, I will have school ready. So, for now, I am just going to continue to focus on the "want to" of my to do list - extreme cleaning bathrooms, cleaning out closets, under beds, washing linens, etc. All the things that make it easier for me to do/plan school. Twisted, I know. I am sure there is a therapy group out there somewhere... Oh well, until then, closets - here I come!

See you soon, then

In the book/movie Dear John (I do not endorse the movie nor the book - if fact, it is one of my least favorites)the main character and her soldier do not say "goodbye" they say "See you soon, then". This weekend we said "goodbye" to some very dear friends. Throughout our married life, we have only had a handful of couples that we were "couple" friends with - friends that I like the wife as much as Ryan liked the husband and vice versa. Maybe "like" is the wrong word, but hopefully, you know what I mean. Anyway, the Campbell's and the Nemitz's forged a friendship way back in 1999/2000 in a young married Sunday School class. Christy and I bonded in our neurotics with child-rearing, education and our passion for children (aka - strong opinions in how that should be done). I think Ryan and Ryan bonded out of sheer necessity of that kindred spirit in the "see what I live with" category. Anyway, Ryan and Christy moved away to Greensboro. After that, we would meet up each year at the Homeschool conference at The Downtown Deli and catch up. They had two more kids, we had two more kids. We would share pictures and "what's going ons". Then, they moved again and we lost touch. That is until the Children's Pastor at Faith felt lead to a different direction and his parting words were : "You remember Ryan Campbell? He would be a great fit for Faith." And presto a friendship was reborn. Now we knew the foursome was a good fit, but who knew our kids would come to care so deeply for one another. Emily and Abby - older sisters extraordinaire, Lizzy & Alexa - two peas in a pod, Ian & Isaac - two little old men in young boy's body, even Abe & Owen- twins separated at birth. Lilly was the only one without a match and she fit nicely into whichever group/pairing she felt compelled to join. We vacationed together, we schooled together, we did life together. Now they are moving on to the next chapter of their lives. We met yesterday to say our final "see you laters". I moved a lot as a child. Back in those days, just moving across town made you lose all connections with former classmates/friends/neighbors. However, now that is not the case, friends are no further away than a click of a button. Due to technology, the Nemitz/Campbell clan can still vacation together, school together, live life together. We just have to be more purposeful and intentional in doing so. I think I finally have Alexa convenced that even though it is not as great as having Lizzie here, having a Skye partner in Africa is VERY cool!


These girls can wear the same outfit on the same day, without even calling one another! We can shop in the same store (at different times, in different states) and they come home with the same outfit! Crazy, I know.


Isaac's third birthday party was the first friend party Ian was ever willing to go to. They have been kindred spirits every sense; quiet and sensible outside the house, wild and crazy inside the house!

These two boys were cut from the same cloth! Two of the most lovable, curious, brightest, strong-willed boys you'll ever meet. God's got great BIG plans for these two!

Back in the Beginning

This morning in church, I was sitting with Owen. We had rearranged our schedule a bit for today and everyone else was in Sunday School. We were singing a song, I don't even remember now what it was and I had this overwhelming thankfulness. I had an overwhelming thankfulness to a man named James Walker. I don't know why at that moment, his face flashed into my mind. He was the pastor at our first real, we are serious about having a grown up, christian life church. The church was huge. We visited there one Sunday and the following Tuesday the Pastor and his wife were knocking on our door. Our house was a DISASTER! They came to the front door (which we never used - only to find out that it was painted shut.) I could go into a whole other post about the condition of that house but I won't. I will just say that now it is a parking lot and leave that at that. Anyway, they came to the door. His sweet wife saw that I was about to die from embarrasement and suggested we sit out on the deck (either that or she was afraid of catching something from my house!) She offered to chase Emily around (she was 16 months at the time) while we sat and talked to James. We were sitting on that back deck and he asked each of us our testimonies. He interrupted Ryan in the middle of his "spill". I say that because Ryan had a rote memory account and said in all sincerity "I don't mean to question you, but are you sure?" No one had ever questioned him before. Needless to say, that was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. I know that eventually we would have gotten to the place God wanted us to be but I am so thankful that He chose to put them in our paths. We learned so much there and met so many wonderful people that had such a huge impact on our lives. This morning, 16 years later, I still feel the effects of the thankfulness that those people were willing to invest in our lives. That they cared enough about us to say "are you sure?" That they could see a bigger, better picture of us 16 years down the road that we couldn't even begin to imagine. It made me challenge myself and my family to ask "who are we investing in?" and "am I doing enough?"

Creating a Legacy

Ryan and I attended a memorial service for a young man this afternoon. He was a 21 year old soldier killed in the line of duty in Iraq. We didn't know him personally but have lots of friends of a friend in common and were members of and involved with the same homeschooling support group. I have never attended an active soldier's funeral. I have been to plenty where they were veterans and were honored. During the service I noticed two things. One - there were lots, I mean lots, of young men and women about his same age that were in the military. A lot of kids within the homeschooling community enlisted in the services. I was thinking about patriotism and how great it is that so many kids can be so passionate about having the honor of protecting our country. As I was thinking about this, I realized that most of these kids would have been somewhere between 10 - 15 when 9/11 happened. The military became up close and personal to America. I was struck with such a series of emotions. So glad that so many of these young people (any people, really) were called to the armed services. At the same time, I am thankful that presently none of my children have that drive. Though I would whole heartedly support them, and be proud of them, I would selfishly want to keep them safe. That thought moved me to my next point (I really was listening as well, I was multi-tasking). Two, we cannot really keep them safe. At the moment, my daughter is getting on an airplane and coming back home. We are driving in a car to go get her. In a matter of months, we will be moving her to a college campus. All of that involves risk. Which brought me to my next thought. What would my legacy be? I would hope that people would say that I am kind, that I care for others, that I am loving & giving but would they know the real reason as to why I strive to do those things? Would they know it is because I so want to hear "Well done" when I get to heaven. Not because of the things I have done, but because I am so unworthy of the price my Savior paid for me. What about my children? What would their legacy be? From all the people who shared it was obvious how much this young man loved life, loved his family, loved to hunt and fish. Then his Pastor got up and shared about his relationship with Christ. About how he cared for others and wanted them to know the same peace he had about where he would be should he end up dying for our country. I am thankful that each of my children have a relationship with godly men that would be able to share how they have seen the fruit of their decision to follow Christ. It is my goal that my children would continue to strive to make positive lasting relationships in the name of Christ for the rest of their lives. What is your legacy?

Dietary Changes

If you were to ask me if we had poor eating habits, I would so no. We are not as super healthy as some not nearly as bad as some others. I would say we fall somewhere in the middle. However, for the past several weeks, we (I) have been trying to make some subtle changes in our diet. I am not home enough to go all out - no processed food, no sugar, etc. But I wanted to make just a few changes - no juice, no soda & no sweetened cereals. Just overall, cut down on carbs & sugar. No absolutes, just cut back. Oh my goodness. I had no idea people under my charge would buck me at every turn. I had no idea that sugar is snuck into so many things! Drinking mainly water has been one of the biggest complaints. My kids don't drink soft drinks very often, but they would drink koolaid & juice 90% of the time. In addition to this, we started a supplement regimen. The supplements are EXPENSIVE! However, I do feel as though everyone could benefit from the 3 month regimen. The problem is, I have no idea what I am doing. I have read, I have studied, I still come up empty. Some of the things I would consider more "healthy" actually have as many (sometimes more) sugar and carb count than the item I replaced. I don't like unknowns. We are on week three and some days (like today) I think "is it worth it"? How bad could 3 cups of koolaid REALLY be compared to my sanity? Yet, I hear this small voice that reminds myself why I decided to try this in the first place. Really, it is no different than making them do their math, making them clean their room, etc. Oh, but it would be SO much easier! Three weeks down - 9 more to go!

Questions?

I don't know why I bother keeping a blog. I don't really like it. I love, love reading blogs. I just don't enjoy writing them. I don't know why, it seems too personal. Yet, three times in the past few months, I went to delete it but couldn't. I guess I don't really know my purpose. It is not a diary of everyday events. It is not share my thoughts/ideas with the world. Maybe I just thought it would be cool and gave into peer pressure. Several people have asked if I have an adoption blog. No, I don't. Several people have asked me recently if I have a "my journey through homeschooling" blog. Umm, NO. So, I just have a random, hodge podge of a blog; nothing personal, no deep thoughts, no adoption news and/or timelines, no homeschooling journey. Actually, it sort of fits my hodge podge of a life!


I have decided recently that having four kids is hard. I mean hard, hard. I suppose if I was a more laid back sort of mom, it wouldn't be as hard. Here is the thing, for every child we have a different stage and we also have to deal with how that stage affects everyone else and how they are going to respond. For example, Emily has graduated and is about to go off to college. I have several stages going on here: Emily - her stage is preparing to leave home 2)How everyone else responds & reacts to her leaving home. I am always afraid that I am not giving someone something they need. The more clingy they get, the more suffocated I feel. Alexa is in a needy, needy stage. Yesterday, we were in Sam's club and I think she touched me, rubbed me, patted me at least 50 times. I know this because every time she did, she shocked me. Literally. Alexa's touch limit is 5,000, mine is 2. Now, I came home exhausted and ready to be alone. Yet, the minute I sit down, two more are sitting nearly on my head. I am not naive. I know that I am blessed beyond measure. I also know, firsthand, that these stages are not going to last forever. Pouring yourself out day after day, is hard. Yet, I know that is what I am called to do. I am reminded time & time again of the first women's bible study I went to as a stay-at-home mom. The first day she had us make aprons so that we could remember whom it was we truly served. That I serve Him by serving my family. I often have trouble turning my brain off when it is time to go to sleep. I read somewhere that if you read one verse and meditate on that while trying to sleep, it would help keep my brain more focused. I loaded this nifty tool on my "smart" phone to help me. Last night, my verse was Matthew 20: 26 - 27: "But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave." Coincidence? I think not.