A long, long day

This morning started out like any other hectic, crazy, "normal" Wednesday. Owen had biology at NLC, we had plans to see the Rembrandt exhibit at the NC Art Museum, Owen had gym, other kids had church. Like normal, I had taken the younger kids to the library while we waited for Owen to be done with Biology. I always put my phone on vibrate while we are there. Normally, they bring more "seatwork" type activities but because of the rest of our day, I decided to bring our Tapestry that I read aloud to them. We were sitting on the chair couch reading about Greek mythology when I felt my phone vibrate. I looked at my phone and I had 2 missed calls and 8 text messages. Already wondering what in the world, I press the button and see Emily had texted that ECU was on lockdown. Ryan had tried to call me when he got the same text - knowing that sort of information could send me straight to "freak out" mode. I have to say I did have the need to get out of the library. I was telling Ryan where to look on the website for alerts and such and Emily was still texting me. At that time, nothing was on any of the news stations yet. My mind was in a whirlwind. I was trying to be careful of what I said, I didn't want to upset the younger ears listening to everything I was saying. I remember thinking "this is crazy" and "once again, I have zero control." I had 10,000 thoughts running through my mind all at once. She was still able to text me that she was safe and that she could hear the police men, hear the helicopters, but had not seen anything / heard anything like gunfire. She was getting all sorts of texts from people who had "heard" what was going on. None of it true. Turns out that the man that had been seen with a rifle headed toward campus was actually a man with a large umbrella sticking out of the top of his backpack. Along the way, Emily was no longer able to send out texts. She finally called just as we were getting placed into our groups at the art museum. People were giving me all sorts of evil looks but there was no way I was not going to take that call. As quick as my mind went to fear with the first call/text, my mind went to relief when I heard Emily's voice and her telling me that campus had been given the "all clear". I remember vividly watching the coverage of Columbine and Virgina Tech. However, I am ashamed to say, I didn't pay much attention to UNC Wilmington's report of a gunman on campus earlier this week. I remember thinking "oh that's terrible" and I may have said a quick prayer but I can assure you, that will never be my response again. I have to say that waiting for the news of what was going on was the longest three hour wait of my existance. Being at the media's mercy, away from home, is not a good place to be. My fingernails are currently nubs - a habit I had given up long, long ago! In college, I observed a study that tried to learn the endorphins your brain emitted after a stresful situation: a near-miss car wreck, a fight with a loved one, being frightened, etc. Let me tell you, I felt the after effects. It is funny that I haven't thought about that study for years until I realized my neck was hurting, my head had a dull ache and I could severely use a nap. When I met back up with Ryan tonight is very first comment was "what a day!" Selfishly, I was glad he was feeling the after effects as well - it made me and my reactions somewhat "normal". I am thankful that I serve a big God who is in control of all things. I am also thankful that today the "gunman" was really just a man carrying an odd umbrella.