A Baby Changes Everything

This is one of my favorite new Christmas songs. Last Sunday our church had it Christmas musical/drama. The very last scene was Mary and Joseph in the stable cuddling and loving on Jesus. The "Mary" was a dear friend of ours, a girl that has just completed her first year of college. She was holding that baby so tender and the "Joseph" was lovingly stroking the baby and gazing into Mary's eyes. (They are very good actors.) "Mary's" older sister has recently gotten engaged and as they were singing, my mind went back to when we had all first met. Suddenly, as I was having heart-palpitations that this "Mary" really could, in fact, be a mother. My mind instantly heard the Faith Hill song "A Baby Changes Everything." Ryan and I were young (by today's standard) when Emily was born. Clueless does not even begin to say how we felt. We were far from home, didn't know anyone with kids, all our friends were as clueless as we were. I had read every volume/magazine available on child-rearing. I didn't want to get this wrong. Imagine the pressure Mary felt. She was a very young girl, had a confused husband (who wouldn't be), had to leave home, couldn't even find a place to rest yet she was called to be the mother of the babe that would change the world forever. I cannot begin to imagine the feelings of doubt and inadequacies she must have felt. How in the world could you mother a sinless baby when our own sins are so great? Luckily for us, Joseph and Mary stepped up the the plate and completed the task they were called to do. "My whole life was turned around I was lost but now I'm found A Baby changes everything." Amen, sister!

Christmas Cards

I got our very first Christmas card in the mail today. I didn't have the "normal" response - I cried. Then, I felt foolish and decided to get to the bottom of the matter. I didn't cry because I didn't like the person (I do very much), I didn't cry because it wasn't a nice card, it wasn't because I stayed up too late working on co-op/teacher gifts, it wasn't because my house is a wreck, it wasn't because my bathroom is so crowded by dirty clothes that you cannot see the floor. I cried because I have been slowly coming to the realization that I am not sending Christmas cards this year. In 1999 a friend of ours (an artist friend) sent out cards drawn by her kids. I was captivated. So, from 1999 - 2008 that is what we did. All of my kids (from birth on) has some sort of representation on the card. Last year, however, the card took a different turn. You see, we are not artists. My older two did not wish to have their artwork on display for all the world to see. So, my younger two did the drawing and my older two did the pennmenship. It just wasn't the same. In fact, we were even told that their decision was selfish and vain for with holding the joy our Christmas card brought. Well, I disagree.

I have wrestled with this the past few weeks and have not gotten a solution until today. Some years, we have done the card, the letter AND the picture (I know I am an over-acheiver). My motto is if you can't do something well (or the way I want it done) don't do it at all. So, for this year, this is where our Christmas card is falling.

Last night, while working on my stuff for co-op, I had to go into the "December" folder. There in a separate file were all of our cards - 1999 - 2008. I sat and marveled at each one and thought about how that card came to be. The reason I cried, I realize, is because it is the end of an era. We had a decade long run of our beloved Christmas cards. The kids used to joke that I was going to make them come home from college in time to work on our Christmas card. Yet, in a blink, that time has come.

So, Merry Christmas from the Nemitz Family.

Thanksgiving

Wow, it is been a while since I have posted. I almost couldn't remember my password. I have had a few posts come to me but I never got them transferred from my mind to the blog. I was lying in bed this morning considering the reasons I haven't "shared" in so long. The truth of the matter is I am not a very good "sharer." I never have been. I have noticed in the past few weeks - the more hectic my schedule become, the more out of control my life gets, the more I retreat. By nature, I am a wall builder. Luckily for me, Ryan has become an expert on noticing my building habits. It is not on purpose or intentional but I begin to hold everyone at arm's length. Everyone - especially the people I care most about. So, this is my apology and my acknowledgement that I am working on it! :) I decided in light of my discovery, I would share some of the things I am thankful for. This list is random and the order does not necessarily reflect the level of thankfulness.
I am thankful for:
* A Savior that can see all the way through me and still loves me enough to save me and have a relationship with me and always forgives me - no matter what.
* A most wonderful, handsome, hardworking husband that loves me and all my faults.
* A lovely, kind, responsible oldest daughter who shows the love of Christ through her thoughts, words, and actions.
* An incredible, handsome, athletic, strong-willed son that has a quick wit and a gentle, loving heart both for Christ and others around him.
* Another wonderful, funny, peculiar, beautiful, sensitive daughter who loves life to the fullest.
* Another quiet, handsome, sweet, gentle son with a heart full of love for those around him.
* I am also most thankful for my extended family. I still have 3 grandmothers and 1 grandfather living and very much a part of our lives. I have a father who lives next door and adores my children as much as they adore him.
* I am thankful for my parents (my mother and step-father), brother, sister, and their families. That we can rely on one another and enjoy one another company.
* I have some of the most awesome friends - ever.
* I am thankful for my house - it is truly a gift and a blessing.
I could go on and on and on. It is not hard to feel a since of awe once you start naming all the things you are thankful for. All of the "thanksgivings" are really blessings bestowed upon us. So, even though sometimes I don't acknowledge those blessings quite as I should - I am forever grateful they are there. Have a Happy Thanksgiving.

Against the flow

I think I should have been born a salmon. Truth be told, I have never been a very good "go with the flow" kind of girl. There have been various times in my life when I have tried, tried and tried harder. However, as I have gotten older, I have discovered that questioning things is my natural bent. Last week I had to take Owen to the doctor for a check up. This is the doctor Owen has been seeing for 10 years. When we got there, the lady spoke over me and handed Owen a 5 page form to fill out and said "Only you" fill out this form. Okay, that was a little odd. Then, we get to the doctor's office waiting room and she tells me I can wait in the hall during the appointment. Uh, excuse me? "Well, (she says - placing her hand on my arm)that is how we do it when they turn 12. They may have "private" matters they would like to discuss with "their" doctor that they wouldn't feel comfortable with a parent in the room." Yeah, right. That lady didn't know who she was talking to - my fight or flight response kicked in overtime! Let's just say I am sure I have a really big, really long note in my folder. It was so bad I think we are going to have to change doctors. You know, the crazy thing is, that doctor had the gall to praise my efforts. He went on and on about how flexible, how well spoken, how polite, what healthy habits he had but in the same breath tell me that I needed to "do it like everybody else." On the way home, it hit me like a ton of bricks - you CAN'T have it both ways. As a homeschooler, I realize I am already outside of the "norm". I don't look for ways to not fit in, really I don't. However, sometimes over somethings I just don't. I thought of this verse out of Philippians "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life - in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing." I (We) will never reach that goal of doing everything without complaining or arguing and I (we) will never be blameless and pure or without fault. However, it is my goal to help give my kids the tools they need to shine like stars in the universe as they hold out the word of life; whether I get nasty notes in my folder or not. I do want to be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.

Sweet Sixteen

I wonder why it is called "sweet sixteen?" In our case, it is fitting. Our sweet is sixteen. How does it happen? Where does the time go? I remember vividly sitting at our kitchen table in Boone, NC crying my eyeballs out that my mother was going to leave us with the sweet little girl I was certain to ruin. Ryan was 21, it was 11 days before my 21st birthday. We had no clue what we were doing. We didn't even know anyone in our zip code that was married, let alone that had kids. At first, our "friends" would come over to visit. However, after a while (and the fact that I would let very few of them hold her) they quit coming. It was quiet. It was Ryan, me and Emily against the world and the ASU campus! Looking back, I would not trade that time for anything. Until I met Emily, I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up. I had no idea the blessings of motherhood. God knew what type of child we needed. I had spent the summer reading every article and book on child-rearing I could get my hands on. (I was an elementary ed major - I had access to A LOT of books!) I know this may be hard for some of you to believe, but I was an "over-the-top" textbook kind of mom. I think Emily was almost two before her schedule was broken (which did not fare well to the schedule breaker, sorry, mom). Emily spoiled us. She let us believe we were good parents. She slept through the night at 3 weeks (none of our other kids did this), she potty trained herself at 20 months, she was such a talker our sitter missed her when she was out sick "because she had no one to talk to", she taught herself to read and write at a very early age. I think it was our 4th year of homeschooling when she thanked me for "teaching her something new." The reality of it is God blessed her with such a sweet spirit, such an internal sense of right and wrong, such a sensitivity to those around her, with a heart to love others and Jesus like no one I have ever met. She would stump us (and still does on a regular basis) with some of the deepest theological questions there ever could be. I often worry that I am going to fail her somehow, she is so much better and smarter than I ever will be. However, I know that God allowing me to be her mother is one of the best gifts I could have ever received. I am in awe that He chose me. Happy Birthday, Emily!

Chores, chores and more chores

Solid Rock Academy is officially back in session. We started Tapestry (our literature, geography, history) last week but started everything else on Monday. A few years ago we started having an "open house." I know that seems crazy since they know what their "school" looks like and they know who their teacher will be. Whatever - it works for us. Anyway, we usually always go out to dinner and then come home and go over the "rules" and contracts. This summer has been very different than most. I don't exactly know why but different - it felt like it never even happened. Needless to say, it feels as though I am already weeks behind and we have only been in session 2 days. So, we go out to dinner - in separate cars because I needed a few more minutes to finish up their contracts. We have a list of undesired behaviors and each child comes up with their own consequence for what their punishment will be for breaking it. It is sort of a personalized "if then" chart. Then, Ryan and I go over their suggested punishment, tweak it as we see fit and then the next morning it is waiting on their desk for them to enter into our agreement. (Every year Owen trys to refuse to sign it!) We have really cracked down on the kids over not completing their chores. Sometimes we also have difficulty in completing school work as well. With the school work, sometimes it is their fault and sometimes it is my fault - I just couldn't get to them in time. So I was explaining to them that they would not recieve the said punishment for not completing their school work if it was my fault. Well, Monday morning comes and Ian takes a look at his chore chart and then takes a look at his school assignments for the day. He says (as earnestly as possible) "Mom, what happens if it is YOUR fault we don't get our chores done." I say, "Why would I stop you from doing your chores? To my knowledge, I have never stopped you from completing your chores." He picks his school list back up and waves it at me with one eyebrow slightly raised as if to say "this is going to take me YEARS!" It didn't, he got his work completed and his chores done and still had time to play outside but I don't think I will ever forget that look he gave me like "what in the world are you trying to do to me!" Brainpower, Ian, brainpower.

PDA

Tonight, on my 3rd trip to Wal-Mart (so much for having a list), I noticed this family while I was shopping. There was a mom, a dad, a little brother and a teenage girl. I noticed them because the girl was being loud and rude. Well, after about the 3rd pass, I noticed a young man had joined them. Obviously, the young man was the girl's significant other. She squealed when he approached like she had not seen him for at least 2 years. They continue to walk with the parents while holding hands. The girl got much quieter as she was wrapped up in a more private conversation. So, as I am waiting in line (you know, the 30 minutes it takes to check out at Wal-Mart) I see them in the candy aisle. Now there are no parents in sight and they are wrapped around one another in such a manner that it almost makes a person (even a happily married person) blush. I am standing there thinking "please get in line behind me." I had a few things I would have liked to have shared with them, of course they didn't. I am in the line with people's carts filled to the brim. They check out their candy in the self-checkout while continuing to make out. All of a sudden I wanted to go find that mother. I wanted to yell and scream! If they were behaving like that in a public place I can only imagine what goes on behind closed doors. While I was processing all of this, they skipped merrily on their way and out to the parking lot. So, I am making a proclamation: "If I EVER see ANY teenage person I know (boy or girl) engaged in such a Public Display of Affection it will not fare well and there will be a scene caused!" And I am putting it out there in blog-land that if ANYONE were to see a child with the last name NEMITZ engaged in such behavior, you would do exactly the same! (Promptly after calling me, of course)

Camp Fun Nemitz

The idea for camp fun Nemitz came last January when we signed Alexa up for her first year at New Life Camp. Emily and Owen have done overnight camp for the past several years and Alexa couldn't wait for her turn. Luckily, Alexa has two friends who also wanted to go to camp who happen to have brothers Ian's age.
The girls at camp:

On the first day we went to the Life and Science Museum in Durham. The new dinosaur trail had opened and we hadn't seen it yet. So, after dropping off Alexa, me, my dad, Ian and Isaac head to the museum. We got there at 10:00am and left at 4:00pm we really made a day of it! I couldn't post all of the pictures but it was a great time! Ian also learned he REALLY does not like grilled cheese.
Day 1



Day 2
The second day, we added another friend and decided to go bowling. Ian loves to bowl and it is something we don't do very often. The first picture is the ride into Raleigh in the car. We don't usually watch movies unless it is a long trip. This was a great treat. They were watching Droopy.


After bowling, we went to Burger King for lunch. They had a great time playing on the playground.

Day 3
We stayed at our house for day 3. We played Bingo (the old-timey one with the big ball), we made homemade pizza, and homemade playdough. They finished out the day with a swim. We named Isaac's pizza "Egg-head Fred."


Day 4
Day Four Camp fun Nemitz got moved to its satellite camp: The Campbells. They had a great time playing together and eating at "Christy's cafe."


Day 5
Our last and final day, we decided to go to the movies. We went to see Ice Age: The Dawn of the Dinosaurs. We thought it very fitting that we started our week with dinosaurs at the museum and finished our week with a dinosaur movie. It was actually better than I had expected.


Overall, it was a wonderful week. I cannot believe that my baby is going to be 7. It was the first time I have ever spent time with just him and his friends. I am sure next year he will opt for the cabin at New Life Camp but this is one camp year we will never forget!

Crazy Days

We have had a crazy couple of days. I woke up this morning to an alarm buzzing and me acting like a crazy person trying to remember where I was, what day it was, and what/where I was late for. Needless to say, it was not a pleasant way to start the day. Emily, Owen and Ryan are leaving Saturday morning to go to Texas with Open Door's TaeKwonDo ministry. They will be gone until next Sunday. Alexa has her first time a day camp this week and Ian is hosting "Camp fun Nemitz" at our house. In all of this, I decided we were going to get our pictures made. I am a true school teacher and have my kids "school" picture taken every year. (One year I missed getting them made and Upward pictures had to do. I was not pleased with myself.) Since it had been a couple of years since we had a full (not just the kids) family photo, I decided we were due. Everyone whined and complained but they managed to smile pretty anyway!

A letter

As I have been cleaning out, I have found where Emily has gotten her 10,000s of journals all over the place. It have been very cool and almost refreshing at going back and reading somethings I had written as I poured my heart out to My God. Some of it has been cool; however, some of it has been "man, I STILL have not learned this!" I found this letter this morning. I was doing a book study - the book is called Character Makeover. I only finished about half of the excellent book - who knows why I didn't complete it. Luckily, I went to my shelf, picked it up and remembered why I thought it such an excellent book. Maybe next year I will be blogging about the second half. :) Anyway, this is a prayer in the beginning of the book. It moved me so much that I changed some of the words and wrote the whole thing out as a letter in the beginning of my "Character makeover" journal. It is dated 2/7/2008.
The reason I am sharing it is because I went to bed with a troubled heart, burdened over many things. I fell asleep praying for the Lord to let my today finally become my tomorrow. Meaning there were many things I would like to do / to change and I have been finding myself saying "tomorrow" then days, weeks, months would pass and "tomorrow" still hadn't happened. This letter, is still my prayer, I just forgot that it was.

Dear Lord,
I am embarking upon holy work to be the best I can be for You. I have picked up this book about making over my character because at my deepest core, I want to please You. You, Lord, are the architect of my life, and You have been building something beautiful in my since before I was born. I want to join You in Your work for my life. I want you to prepare my heart, pray for a change, and practice the discipline of a woman of character.
I have a dream of doing something for You, but I am being held back by strongholds that the enemy is using to discourage and defeat me. Lord, show me who You really are and who I am through the truth of Your word and the power of Your Holy Spirit, so that I may overcome those persistent strongholds.
I pray for your protection to surround me as I start on this challenging renovation. Bring me encouragement along the way at just the moment when obstacles or self-condemnation threaten to derail my efforts. Show me which character quality You want me to start with, transform my prayer life, and help me persist to the end. I claim your blessings upon my collaboration with You to become that humble, confident, courageous, self-controlled, patient, content, generous, perservering woman You created me to be. May the time and energy I devote to developing my charactet cause You to use me all the more powerfully for Your kingdom-building purposes which will reap eternal rewards for me and those You want me to serve.
In the Mighty name of Jesus, I pray, amen.

Perfectionism VS Perseverance

James 1:4 "But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." This verse suggests that perseverance is the catalyst for perfection. The word for mature is also translated "perfect", but it means the completion of a task or the end of a goal rather than moral or physical perfection. It is no secret that I would like to be perfect. However, as I have gotten older, that goal of perfect has seemed more and more unobtainable. It seems the harder I struggle for control, the more complicated things have become. I have recently noticed an alarming trend in my behavior. If I do an activity or organize an event well, I do it for a few years and quit. If I do an activity or organize an event and it isn't lining up well or the outcome doesn't look favorable, I quit. I used to rise to a challenge ready to just do my best. Now, I quit. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I cannot quit being a wife, mother, teacher, daughter, friend. Trust me, there have been times I have wanted to try. Yet, according to James 1:4 I can achieve perfection through perseverance. I guess it is like I tell Emily all the time about challenges she faces "If it were easy - anyone could do it!" I guess I need to start following my own advice!

What I am learning from Peter

The past couple of weeks - I have been surrounded by Peter's lesson of walking on water. Matthew 14: 24-33 " But the boat was now in the middle of the sea, tossed by the waves, for the wind was contrary. Now in the 4th watch of the night Jesus went to them, walking on the sea. And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, "It is a ghost!" And they cried out for fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them saying, "Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid," And Peter answered Him and said, "Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water." So He said, "Come." And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, "Lord, save me!" And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him and said to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. Then those who were in the boat came and worshiped Him, saying, "Truly You are the Son of God." I was teaching this lesson this past week at VBS to five year olds. I had a raft for the boat, paper plates for the wind, blue streamers for waves and of course a Peter, Jesus, and disciples. After concluding the lesson, one of the boys stated "If he (Peter) was going to be scared, he shouldn't have ASKED to get out of the boat!" I have been thinking about this all week. I am constantly on Emily for letting her fears stop her from doing the things she really wants to do. I am asking her to get out of the boat, even though she is afraid. The thing about getting out of the boat is that you have to stay focused on Christ or you sink. It is a gamble, it is a risk. Yet, if I am called out of the boat - I won't fail. I learned a hard lesson several years ago that Christ equips you for the tasks He calls you to. However, sometimes we take that 'equipment' and use it other places or in other ministries than it was intended; leaving us to believe we were left stranded in the middle of the lake - sinking. Tonight, I went to a man's funeral that has attended Faith for a very long time. It was a beautiful service and people were giving testimony to how his life had impacted or affected theirs in some way. Listening and watching the service I was again reminded of Peter and the boat. People like Ty do not have that sort of testimony by staying in the boat; by not taking a risk and investing in the people around him. Not only was Peter changed, but the other disciples as well said "Truly you are the Son of God." There are so many ways/times that I have asked to walk on the water and I feel at other times I have been commanded to walk on the water. It is no secret that I fear failure. However, I am slowly trying to come to the realization that sometimes the failure I feel is nothing more than stubbornness in my refusal to get out of the boat and take a risk. The way I see it, there are two options 1 - be Peter and get out of the boat - keeping my eyes focused on Christ or
2- sit and wish I had been the one brave enough to take a chance.

Memorial Day Fun

I had an awesome Memorial Day. On Thursday, I went to the NCHE Homeschool convention. I have gone every year, except one, during the past 11 years of homeschooling. Usually, Ryan and I go together. This year we decided we were not going to go at all. However, a few weeks before, I started getting cold-feet about missing the conference, especially the bookfair. And my mother got upset when she found out we weren't going - it is her grandmother tradition to keep the kids. So, we decided I would go to the bookfair on Thursday, Ryan would pick me up on Friday and we would go somewhere restful for the rest of the weekend. (The homeschool conference is NOT restful. I leave either on cloud nine that this is a wonderful life I have or looking for the nearest bridge to end my misery.) Anyway, I rode down with my friend, Kristi. We gabbered so much she missed the exit. We went to the bookfair upon arrival and I was done by nightfall. We stayed with two other friends, one friend's mother and one friend's daughter. Needless to say, we had a packed house. It was like one big sleepover. Surprisingly, it was a lot of fun. I am just not a slumber party kind of girl. I hadn't really spent much time with these friends lately and it was great spending time with them and reminising about times past. Then, on Friday, Ryan came to pick me up. Due to the awful B word (budget) we decided we really needed to just come back home. I was a little disappointed because I really wanted Ryan all to myself and I knew I would never get that at home. We wandered around, taking our time getting home. He started talking about his plans for Saturday: cut grass, clean pool, etc. I couldn't believe it - that is usually me! So, I say: "let's go camping." I wish I had a picture of Ryan's face - mouth nearly hitting the floor. Not only am I not a slumber party kind of girl, I am not a camping kind of girl either. Let me rephrase that - I am not a camping kind of mother. In our early days, we used to go camping. However, somewhere along the way (whiny kids, a tent full of dirt, bugs, etc) it sort of lost its appeal. So, we came home blew the dust off our gear and went to Falls Lake about 15 miles from home. On Saturday, we went to Beaver Dam, laid out in the sun and ignored all the whining, screams, etc and didn't look up once when we heard "mommy, daddy". Then, we went out to dinner and back to the campsite. We built a fire, played cards, and talked. It was quite blissful. We were a "normal" couple out camping. I felt like we were twenty again, well, almost. Sunday we got up, broke camp and headed down to pick up the kids. On Monday, we had a cookout with my dad's family. It was a great weekend. The grass, the pool, the television, the phone all waited until Tuesday. It was a great weekend, did I say that already? :)

Bittersweet

Yesterday, I was out with my boys. It was a very hectic, busy day. I had tests to administer, the boys had a dentist appointment and Emily had a speech appointment. Just as we were about to leave, the speech therapist called to say that she was sick and was not taking any appointments. Bad for Emily, good for me. So, the girls got to stay home and I took the boys. After the dentist, Owen already had a play date arranged so we went to lunch and then took him to his friend's house. Lunch was great, we discussed everthing from Miss California to concentration camps. Ian was just sitting there taking it all in. After we dropped Owen off, we replayed the same conversation - just on a 6 year old level. I just cannot get over the fact of how much he continues to surprise me. I remember clearly the day I realized Owen would rather grow up to be Ryan than me. Don't get me wrong, that is what I want, it is just different to have that change of power. However, the thing I noticed is Owen had no other competition. He wanted to be Ryan. Ian on the other hand, has Owen and Ryan. Don't get me wrong, my boys have a traditional love/hate relationship I assmume most brothers have. Yet, there is a very clear sense of mutual affection. Ian in some ways, already sees himself as Owen's peer and is often very good at it. Then, he can make a comment, ask a question, want to play with something and it makes you go "that's right, he is only six." I loved yesterday; I loved seeing my baby as he is, seeing the hints of the young man he is deciding to be. It was bittersweet.

Just to give a sample of the transformation I am seeing, these pictures were from a few weeks ago. Several years ago, we started sometimes giving the gift of time as a birthday present rather than a gift. Ian remembers Owen doing this for a special friend and he wanted to give the same to his friend. Ian loves Adventure Landing. He had his 3rd birthday party there because that was the age you had to be in order to ride the go-carts. He made everyone of his guests sit on the bleachers as he took his first victory lap around the track. He smiled and waved "look at me - I am big enough!" So, Emily and I took Ian and his fellow-old soul Issac to adventure landing for a day of minature golf, laser tag, video games and of course, go-carts.




An intense game of minature golf.


Ian saying go "faster, faster"


Isaac, hilariously screaming.

Independence

Independence, generally speaking, is an ugly word at my house. I am a strong-headed, willful, stubborn, independent person. I have been that way as long as I can remember. Therefore, I can only assume I was born that way. However, naturally over time, my independence has weakened. I do believe that I was not created to be independent but to live peacefully under the leadership and direction of my husband. The one flaw in this system is that from January - April my husband is not present. For the most part, even when his body is at home - he is not really home. So, my natural instincts kick in and I take over. For us, it works. Yet, when tax season is over, it takes a little while for us to transition back. I have to help him "get in the know" of the details. The kids have to get used to him being home more. He doesn't appreciate their "creations" quite like I do. Usually at the end of tax season, we go away on a mini-vacation. We went skiing at the first of January this year so we didn't go anywhere. It was nice to stay home and just do things around here. The kids didn't enjoy it quite as much but if felt really good to get some major things checked off the list. Overall, this has been one of the toughest seasons we have had in a long time. Our first tax season (1995) was especially torturous. As we hit our groove, they got better. Then the seasons when Alexa and Ian were very small were tough - they had way too much mom time. The season Henry lived with us was tough - that one was really tougher on Ryan because Owen and Henry would fight for his attention the moment he walked into the door. I wasn't expecting this one to be difficult. Maybe that is why it was - maybe I was overconfident in MY abilities. This year, the kids had A LOT going on. When they were little, I would try to taper the activities we did during tax season. That is impossible to do now. We (I) had a lot of firsts this year. 1- Ian played Upward basketball for the first time. Ryan & Emily were his coaches. 2- Alexa did cheerleading. This was not her first year but the first year she and Ian were not in the same league. 3- Owen had gymnastic meets all over the place in Jan, Feb, & March. The exact same time as the upward games were going on; when Ryan was trying to work, coach basketball and transport Alexa to games. My parents helped a lot. My mom came to a lot of their games and my dad helped to transport when he was off. 4 - I drove Owen to Hickory by myself and stayed in a hotel overnight. I had never stayed in a hotel with me as the only adult. It was interesting. 5- I flew with Owen to Miami. It was the first time I had ever flown as the parent in charge and it was Owen's first time flying. 6- Drove all over Miami in a little red Cavalier. My first time to drive in a city as large as Miami, having NO idea where I was going. Truth be told, that was kind of fun. I don't think I would have been a very good passenger-side driver. 7 - I took Emily to the doctor's at UNC Chapel Hill. I do not do well in this type of situation but I did okay. Emily was brave. :) 8 - I took Ian and a friend to Adventure Landing to play laser tag and ride the go-carts. 9 - I put together a bicycle. Okay, Emily and my Dad helped A LOT and the seat did fall off the next day. But Ian had one glorious day of riding his new bike. Luckily, it was at the end of tax season and he didn't have to wait long for the repair. The point is we are in a stage of our life where time stops for no one. Basketball, cheerleading, gymnastics, doctor's appointments, etc, etc, are going to continue to dominate our lives for sometime now. The truth of the matter is Ryan would much rather do all of those things with me. He knows I have fears of motel rooms, of doctor's offices, driving in large cities. Yet, I know he would be there if he could. Someone made the comment that it is only 25% of the year. I can look at that like - man, 25% is A LOT or I can look at it like - thank goodness it is only 25%. I am thankful that he is here and very involved in the other 75%. I am grateful that he has a job, he is a hard worker, he likes what he does. The first night Ryan was home, Ian curled up in his lap and said "Daddy, when will tax season be over?" Ryan said, "It is over, buddy, that is why I am home." Ian nodded his head and said "how much longer until it is tax season again?" A long time, buddy, a long time; we've got the glorious other 75% to go!

My boys

I have noticed something this week about my boys and I decided to share my revelation. My two boys are very different and very similar. Their temperaments, their likes/dislikes, their physiques are very different. However, their love for rough housing, their sports-mindedness, their love for their mother are very much the same. One very significant similiarity is that they are both homebodies. When Owen was little, he was extreme. His extreme was why I quit working. Ian has always been a bit more subtle. I am not sure if this is due to his personality or if he had less of a choice. Owen only had one older sibling to go places where Ian had three. (I think)I have finally figured out why they get so out of whack if we are not home enough. My boys are totally different at home than they are anywhere else. I discovered just this weekend that very few people actually KNOW my boys. There are some family members and a few close friends. That is so the opposite of my girls - they are "what you see is what you get" all the time. Owen and I went to Hickory this weekend for a gymnastics meet. So many people told me how well-mannered he was, how attentive, how he was really focused. Now, I was there and I totaly agree that he was all of those things. However, I saw all over his face that it took everything he had. We were in a new gym with different coaches, different kids, judges, etc. He knew to be on his "best behavior." It was not something I coached, it just happened. Out in public, neither of my boys hardly speak; but at home they rattle off like crazy; talking, screaming, wrestling, aggrivating, etc, etc. I think it is great that they know how to behave outside of our house and that home is their "safe haven." I am also grateful for those few places and people who have invested in my boys' lives and get a real glimpe of how great they really are - inside and out!

Happy Birthday, Owen!

My blog is doing something crazy with the pictures. So, I will give my thoughts then share the pictures. Owen is by far my most strong-willed child. He was born with his own ideas of how things should go. He is the salmon of our family. However, under that pricklyness, there is a wonderful, beautiful, intelligent, talented young man. Owen has my weakness for passion. He is very passionate about what he believes in (whether right or wrong :) ). He is stuck in traditions and thrives with a predictable schedule. He is slow - unless chasing a football. He hates math - unless you are talking sports stats. He loves Jesus, his family, football, the Washington Redskins, and NC State. He is an accomplished gymnast and a 2nd degree Black belt. He is our resident geography whiz, president whiz, and animal specialist. Ryan teases that my "momma bear claws" will come out the fastest to defend Owen. He is my true diamond in the ruff. I cannot believe he is 12 today. Happy Birthday, Owen!
This is Owen the day we came home from the hospital.
He has always been a climber. Emily didn't like him to play with this house because he moved the furniture. This is what he did while she was at preschool.

Storms

Last week was one week I wouldn't want to ever do over. It was stressful from beginning to end. There were days where I just wanted to open the cover of my Bible and wrap it tightly around me - like an infant in a blanket. I didn't want to teach the children, clean the house, cook the meals, wash the clothes, play taxi driver, etc., etc. Tax season is tough on us. Ryan is torn between his responsibilities at work vs his responsibilities here and struggles to find enough energy for both. I struggle with bouncing from leader to follower; leading in his absence - following in his prescence. The kids struggle with who's in charge and just the daily schedule. When the kids were younger, Ryan hated to hear my distressed call of "what time did you say you were coming home?" As the kids have gotten older, the call is different. It is more of a challenge to get them to all their activities as well as keep him in the loop of where we are, what is going on, etc. However, one thing I have learned this week is that there are somethings you should never take for granted. It is easy to get comfortable where we are and no longer notice the things around us or the people around us. During my distress calls to the Lord this week I came across this quote: "Those who abandon ship the first time it enters a storm miss the calm beyond. And the rougher the storms weathered together, the deeper and stronger real love grows." (Ruth Bell Graham) I think of how many things/blessings we may miss out on because we aren't willing to buckle down and weather the storm. I'll be honest, I don't like storms - especially big ones; I cannot control storms, I cannot predict storms. However, I am equipped with what I need to weather storms and to learn from them. This is my new favorite verse "Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way." (Psalm 139: 23-24)

Love

Okay, I feel another pessimistic blog coming on. I am not a lovey, mushy kind of girl. And, since being married to an accountant, I have given up on Valentine's Day. Although, truth be told, it has never been my favorite "holiday." I have been reading a book called One Month the Live: Thirty Days to a No-Regrets Life by Kerry and Chris Shook. It has been a very interesting book. I am on the chapter about Loving Completely. Here is what the first part says: "When it is all said and done, relationships are all that really matter. It doesn't matter how much money we have, where we live, or how many beautiful toys we have collected. None of these can comfort us, console us, cry with us, or love us. Our investment in the people we care about is the only legacy that has the power to endure beyond our lifetime." Ryan teases me because I am obsessed with my funeral. I know that sounds crazy but it totally made since to me when I read this passage. How many people come to my funeral, to me, equates the amount of people I invested in. Sometimes, in my world, I lose sight of the day to day people I invest in outside of my four walls. I know I have not invested in others as many as some but perhaps more than others. However, I can honestly say when I love, I love for life. I have never told someone I loved them on a whim; not even as a child. I was listening to a song from the Fireproof soundtrack the other day and it said this "Love is not a place to come and go as we please. It's a house we enter in and then commit to never leave." That is so me. So, when I begin to get onto myself about being off-standish I am going to remind myself that I strive for "quality not quantity"!

First Field Trip

Today, for the first time ever I took my two youngest children on a "field trip." Now, when my older two were younger we took TONS of field trips. We went to Lowe's Foods, Food Lion, Pizza Hut, Daylight Donuts, Subway (after this trip Emily was positive she was going to be a "sandwich artist" for years afterward), the Fire Station, the Police Station, every NC aquarium and nearly every Children's museum within a 300 mile radius. However, somehow that got lost in our day to day of living. As a Kindergarten teacher in my former life, this is something I have felt very guilty over for my youngest two children. So, a few weeks ago when I saw a field trip to Lowe's Foods I decided - "we're doing it." We were supposed to go last Tuesday but due to the snow, it was rescheduled for today. We had to be there at 10:00am. We pulled up at 9:58 - just in time for this group shot in front of the store. Alexa asks - "Mom, were you late with Emily and Owen too?" No, probably not.

We get into the store. We get hats and follow the balloon cart. The very nice lady takes us around the store looking for healthy snacks. Now, since this was our very first field trip and my older two had taken this trip years ago - they were prepping my younger on things to look for. "Be sure to touch the lobster, notice how cold the freezer it, watch the boxes get smashed, taste the kiwi, eat the cookie, scan your grocery, look at the meat grinder, etc." Well, let's just say the field trip has changed in the past 6 years. The only thing that was the same was the hat, the pencil, and looking/touching the lobster. Instead of tasting a cookie, they got an orange slice and a sandwich bag of shredded wheat.

Here is Alexa and Ian posing after the field trip. The kids had a great time going around the store with a few other kids. They enjoyed wearing the hats for the rest of the day and playing with the balloon. I did learn that they are not as bad off as I thought they were. Minus the hat, other kids and following the balloon cart, they have been on this field trip a zillion times. Over the years, I have become much more of the "everything is a field trip" kind of mom/teacher than I ever gave myself credit for. I mentioned to the lady the differences in our trips. She responded, "We have such codes and guidelines as to who can go where in the store due to safety regulations and health concerns." So, our sue happy, germophoic tendencies ruined our "behind the scenes" field trip. Oh well, taken Alexa and Ian on a field trip: CHECK!

Happy Birthday Alexa

This is Alexa the day she came home from the hospital. She was already looking at Owen with a "What!" type expression and she had only known him for s few days.

This was Alexa waiting to get her first haircut - just a bangs trim.

This is her getting ready to go to her very first friend party. It was a little boy of a sister in Owen's gymnastics class. Years later, they would be in the same TaeKwonDo classes. Who knew...

This was Alexa skating on her birthday. She has to make a fashion statement even at the skating rink!

I love this picture. This is Alexa. I am surprised she is not making an open mouthed expression. She probably was but I made her stop. Alexa is the most flamboyant, exuberant, sensitive, peculiar, walk to her own drummer kind of kid. She loves life to the fullest. When she was little, I worried she had a sleep problem because as soon as she was still and quiet - she was asleep. I have pictures of her asleep in most the most precarious positions and places.

This picture was obviously at Disney. The peculiarity I was mentioning coming out here. She desperately wanted her picture taken with the prince. Our table was in an odd place and we couldn't quite figure out the prince's table pattern so he got to our table quicker than we expected. Alexa refused her have her picture taken without her gloves. The young "prince" was very kind and gracious and was helping Alexa to put on her gloves. He couldn't quite get her fingers right and Alexa was insistent that they be on correctly AND pulled all the way up. So, Ryan reached over to help the poor fellow so that he could take the picture and move on to the the next table. I am saving this picture for Alexa's wedding so that she will always know that sometimes even "Prince Charming" may need her dad's help!

This was the final product after all the fuss. Pretty as a picture isn't she?

This is my girl. She squeals in delight when happy and cries like her heart is broken when sad. You always know where you stand with Alexa. She is so excited to be 8 because she gets to get out of a booster seat. A few weeks ago, we were sitting at the mall having lunch and Alexa was doing her usual eating very slow and watching all the people around her. Suddenly, out of the blue she says: "When will Obama become President?" "January" I answer. "Well," she replies,"he had better not think of raising the car seat age to 9 or I am going to send him a strong letter filled with words I am not allowed to say!" (Owen was affected when the current car seat law was changed - he was out of a booster but had to go back in one from Jan - March.) "Alexa," I say, exactly how are you going to know how to spell all these words you are not allowed to say?" She thinks for a moment and replies "Emily - I am sure SHE knows how to spell them!" Hmmm.... I've said all along that we must channel this girl's power for good!